D and his travels

A friend I met in Panama wrote these words:
Inside my thoughts: I know I am not unique when I question what I want to do with my life. I wonder... how many older adults have lived agreat happy and complete life, but when they look around they realize it’s not the life that they asked for? It just happened, day by day, and they never did anything to change it. At a young age, life unfolds innocently and carefree. Parents, government, and social expectations largely define, guide, and determine the course of a child’s life. Bythe time I was 22 I had only made a few real important decisions. Then in a short period, the path so nicely laid out in front of me disappeared. The sun still rises, and sets. Days pass. But now it’s up to me to move forward (or in some people’s opinions move backwards). Each step I take is my choice. Which direction do I move? I know onething for sure: I do not want to randomly end up somewhere. I’m sureif left to chance, I would wake up someday having lived a great and fulfilling life--yet one that you did not choose. I’m not a mindless living blob that purely reacts to environmental stimulation. I am a thinking, acting, decision making person that can actively determine what my contribution to the world is going to be. So now... what will those be?? While I think it is important to be open minded and flexible enough to adapt to life’s offerings, I also think it is important to have a motivated purpose--or gift you give to the world. And that’s the inside of my thoughts for now....

I guess D, and I, and probably a lot of other people are in the same position, that is in our mind. There are so many options open now that I am done with college, and sometimes I think there are too many. Mostly, I want to live a life of purpose. I dont want to get caught up in the routine of doing things just because that's what I do. I hate the way life can sometimes suck the life out of itself. I want to stay passionate, have a cause to fight for. But the truth is, maybe I, too, will wake up someday looking back on life and realizing that the path I wanted to take I never did. That life somehow had it's own plan and mixed me up in it. There are a couple of options I'm looking into right now. I think I mostly need to figure out what desires I am willing to sacrifice, at least for the time being. I'm too idealistic sometimes, but idealism is something I still find in others, and something I still admire. Like D, I want to give the world my gift, that I think has something to do with speaking Spanish, writing, and giving children a better future. I hope the path I want to take is the path I do take...I guess we all do. Providence will decide, and meanwhile, I'll keep writing and hoping.